| I love life |
[15 Sep 2009|10:56am] |
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because i'm going to see Kanye and Lady Gaga and I'm going to dance my face off
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| Saturday July 25th |
[17 Jul 2009|09:32am] |
Fog at Absinthe (favourite localish band as of late)
Vatican at Casbah (last show for a while)
Juggalo Night at Doors (Fucking hillarious, especially summer times)
What the fuck am I gonna do?
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| oh yeah uh oh |
[14 Jun 2009|07:41am] |
i've been awake since 4pm. i guess that's not so bad. i'm gonna be so beat in a few hours. I had a teenage girl slumber party with someone completly unexpected. like no one would believe in a million years. they're fun. not a doucher. and not what i expected....but i still don't trust anyone.
my wisdom teeth hurt so bad i wish my head would explode.
i fuckin' love ripped dudes. the more ripped the better
bring on the beef cakes for some reason
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| hello darlin' nice to see you |
[13 Mar 2009|02:15am] |
it's been a long time you're just as lovely as you used to be....
A brief underpants update
I no longer work doubles, yay
I have the most illegal car in history
Biff and I parted ways, kind of mutually?...no hard feelings?
I own more make up than anyone i know
I've been seeing Danny again
I fucking love that kid to death. I got over being angry and hurt, I've moved on from where we were. Things are going so far so good, don't see each other everyday but when we do it's quality time. He's seemed to have matured a bit, it's like he gets it now i feel alot more confident in us. I've always loved him, i've been in love with him since I first met him. Head over heels and shit. I actually feel like someone really loves me back for the real me and not what they think I am, or for how i make them feel, he loves me because i'm loveable, it's fantastic when someone realizes you're loveable.
Wednesday I had the worst hangover ever. Went for beers with Brad from work and Danny met up with us. I got sloppy, broke a glass giving Brad a smooch on the cheek. It's funny because we had a talk recognizing that he's my boss, and I laughed. I really like getting along with someone in charge.
I'm excited about spring and summer. I bought alot of dresses and cute shoes this winter and need it to be warm so i can strut my stuff, for no reason at all. nothing is more satisfying than getting dolled up to hang out with yer gals or get drunk at the dive bars you always get drunk at.
I love females. Never in my life have I had so many girlfriends. And it's all girls that i can't say a bad thing about. The best part is none of them are catty and can all get along with everyone. Nat is easily the most likeable human on the face of the planet, if you don't want to give her tiny smooches there is something wrong with you. Lisa is the most resilient gal I know, she always does a fantastic job at everything and I wish I was half as motivated in life as she was. Sherlane is adorable, she has the sweetest most exciting personality ever. I'm super excited for Lidsay to move here, for some reason I've always felt like we were far closer friends than we really are hahah kindred spirits? She's right up my alley and is the only girl who will talk about make up and hair with me, because I think she's the only other gal with a passion for the fashion.
Clearly I love life.
I'm excited about waking up everyday
things have never been like this
if you were here we could hug.
is it weird if i make home made iced green tea at 0232?
i use military time bitches.
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| Fuck Off And Die |
[18 Dec 2008|11:05pm] |
Everyone who doesn't work 60 hours a week
honestly work is killing me
I'm close to tears every friday
I can't wait for the christmas season to be over
I hate feeling like that because I normally love Christmas
I haven't spent hardly anytime with friends
I only ever see Biff, which sucks because he hears my wrath all the time
poor guy
he made me awesome dinner yesterday
SIGH
I hope I make it to go out tomorrow I deserve it
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| Sexmas |
[08 Dec 2008|12:26pm] |
I started my jesusmas shopping.
I have quite few ideas, it's just a matter of actually getting them.
I'm mostly excited about my present for Biff.
I'm painting him a picture, mostly i'm gonna cover my ass in oil paint and sit on a canvas
probably the hottest gift ever.
i've been doing every other day doubles, and the monies is fantastic
my hair is so long and dreamy.
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| you did baby, you did |
[27 Nov 2008|03:03am] |
i hung out with danny tonight
we watched strange wilderness and i now pronounce you chuck and larry
both were actually fucking hillarious
tomorrow is work work work
then maybe a chill with the Biff
this weekend is ultra busy
LISA IS HERE! she's comming out with us on friday to the doors
Saturday is Megan and George's stag and doe
then on sunday or maybe saturday befor the the stag and doe me and biff are having a wine and stake date
I'm bringing wine and steak, he's doing the rest and providing the house
sounds like a sweet deal to me
i'm never warm anymore, cause i work in an icy cold warehouse
i never get to dress cute anymore either
only on the weekends
and it's getting too chilly for dresses now :(
and only one pair of jeans fit me
I wish i could target where I gained weight
actually I wish i could just gain weight in general
I went from a size 6 to a 0 in about 4 months
with no effort on my part
skin and bones
all we are is skin and bones
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| its fun if you're going to whitesnake concerts in 1985 |
[19 Nov 2008|01:18pm] |
doubles are killing me
i'm so tired and my body is all achey
going to biff's tonight after work
i snaked a neck rub out of him on monday, i need another one
oh maybe a foot rub, god damn i'm sore.
i'm bummed i only have a half jug of green tea left
the lady on what not to wear is fucking adorable
it's hard to dress for work when you're going out after
wooo shower time then back to work
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| tv is creepin' me out |
[17 Nov 2008|10:10am] |
sooo
I slept till like 2 yesterday. It was fantastic. Nat and I headed back to our end of the city and I had an awesome bubble bath and ate some dinner.
Mike aka Biff (up until a year or so ago I never knew Biff wasn't his real name and I've avoided calling him by name cause it seems weird calling him a new name now...anyways... he gave me a call around 6:30 and I headed over to his place. It was a fun night. We had a pj party and watched tv....and did other fun stuff.
I had to work at 5:30am and got home at 2am. I was all dreamy all morning and am still dreamy cause i've been getting sweet texts since 9am. Oh geeze, I don't know what I was thinking dating younger dudes cause I friggin' love the older fellas. Older the better haha.
So I'm going to watch some Maury and maybe eat some breakfast. I fuckin' love gushing about fellas on the LJ.
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| this is its, it's a hit |
[15 Nov 2008|04:39pm] |
So I was a hit last night
I got several high fives for my excellent cover.
Kevin Sheeler said i was the high light of the night, it was sweet to hear.
I got drunkasaurus
Got reaquainted with Biff.
We had a hillarious run in the first time we ever met and share a laugh over it once and a while
Last night I asked if he wanted to jam thrash with us and he's super down
I then spent an hour in the rain trying to help the fog of lepracy dudes get into their car
then biff and i had text wars and listened to samhaine
jamieson's house turned into to squarter fest and i managed to snake the only bed
i was over powered by biff's fighting skills and had to share
...NOT COMPLAINING...
we all spent the morning playing guitar and then went out for breakfast
I fucking love my weekends
i want to have practice again soon
HARD TIMES
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| life gets in the way of living: part ten million |
[13 Nov 2008|10:32am] |
so in the past 24hrs i've worked for 16, i love slave labour.
I've done doubles and have to be in at 5:30am till like 10 then again from 2pm till wheneves
waking up at 4:45 is balls
I've forgotten to wear a bra both days
however i notice that the fellas are more keen to help me when i have RHPN (rock hard party nipples) and the customers are far more forgiving for UPS's short commings
I pulled a muscle in my neck
it's on the left side, it travles up into my scalp and down to my elbow
i'm currently chillin' with a thermacare patch (irony!)i hope it makes a bit of a difference cause i have some workin' to do and some thrashing to do
speaking of thrashing...
friday at touche (old 33 hess) I'm doing the vocals for a few songs with Wrath of Khan
I've had a few practices with them and it's awesome
I can't wait till tomorrow
I'm gonna grab peoples shirt collars and yell in their faces
i haven't talked to phil since like sunday
i'm not concerned... tour gals happen
however it's probably cause he's on the road and he's a dude
maybe when he's home for a few weeks we'll talk more again
he's so dreamy and thrashy
i'm totally getting a THRASH tattoo
all neon and a thrash hat
yeah!
fuck i need to start being more persistant on people who will do free tattoos on me
there's a bunch
i'm a lucky girl
i could also use a nap
oh last night = first male assisted orgasm in months
it was awesome and now my vagina wants to swallow dudes whole
haha disgusting
man i'm such hussy
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| since when do I do things worth sharing? |
[11 Nov 2008|01:04am] |
last night i had my first ever band practise
me jamieson and steve practised some cro mags
imma bust out some 80's hard core on friday at vatican's cd realse
i'm quite honoured to be apart of it
Johnny gets back from tour with fuck the facts on the 19th
he's down for jamming some thrash with jamieson and I
I dunno what happened to me but i got over my fear of shouting
now i'm attempting to start bands with excellent musicians
its an odd odd feeling to be interested in 3 fellas at once
especially when 2 are never around cause they are constanstly on tour
and the other one is always around but isn't interested in anything beyond zero commitment what's so ever
Florida made the one fella jealous, which was kinda a nice feeling
I'm going to dye my hair dark brown tomorrow
I've had enough of this almost red shit
and i'm so grey now....just call me the silver fox
the week after my period is a leathal time for boys
my vagina is out to conqure....take that any way you want to.
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| Fest-- this is for Emily |
[07 Nov 2008|12:09pm] |
So...
On the 29th Jamieson, Nat, Rowan and I left for Gainesville Florida to go to Fest. Fest is a sweet punk rock festival where 250+ bands played. I found out about Fest because at the begninng of September I was listening to Municipal Waste and told Nat I was thinking of her and she told me that they were playing in Gainesville halloween weekend, so I said, "we're going"....and we did.
the drive there was pretty awesome. 25 hours in the car with breaks to eat pee and get gas. we met awesome dudes as soon as we got there and partied just the 4 of us in our room on thursday night. Friday was the first day of fest and we ended up having a sweet parking lot party and I became known as fast lips cause I smooched two dudes in less than 1 hour....what can I say american's have sweet beards.
Saturday was the day I was looking forward to. We watched a few bands then it was time for Waste to play. Nat and I were right up front in front of LandPHIL, the bass player. He's all skinny and dreamy. Long hair, bandanna, tight jeans, several belts and a beard like you wouldn't believe. So I drank lots of the shots of vodka they passed out to the crowd and metal hands like you couldn't believe at Phil's crotch as he played, haha. So after they played Nat and I went outside then came back in to watch D4. Rowan went out back and found Municipal Waste and smoked a joint with Phil. After D4 played we went to another bar to see New Mexican Disaster Squad. When they were done I stayed behind with Rowan as Municipal Waste showed up and wanted to hang with him. So I went over and told Phil how they were the whole reason I wanted to come. I then started pulling out all my drunken moves and hit on him so hard and made it so obvouis that I was in love. He kept telling me that he plays hard to get. The singer, Tony, called me over and told me to keep it up cause girls never do this to Phil and he was talking about be after they played, he's just shy. So I ended up getting too wasted and my buddy Georgia took me to the place he was staying where I fell asleep. the next day he took me back to my hotel and I spent the day dreading getting drunk again.
So we made our way over to The Venue. I walked Nat into the bath room when we got there and when I came out there was Phil.
Phil- Girl, where have you been all day?
Val- Amping myself up to party
Phil- I've been walking around all day trying to find you, my legs are sore
Val- Wow, I guess all my hard work payed off.
Phil- Let's go some place quiet and get some shots, I'm buying.
So Phil, Rowan and I took off to a more quiet place and did shots and got to know each other.
Phil- So all that last night, was that cause you were drunk or are you interested
Val- I was so forward because I was drunk, but when I saw you tonight my heart went all pitter patter with excitement
Phil- Good, I'm really attracted to you and want to spend the rest of the time we have here together
...SMOOCH...
We started to walk back to The Venue when we ran into Carlos, some dude who sells weed. Rowan wanted weed so Phil and I got in the car with him and Carlos to go get pots. Carlos and Rowan sat in the front and Phil and I had steamy make outs cute fest in the back seat. After we got back Rowan was too hammered and needed to go back to the hotel. The three of us got in a cab and went back to the hotel. Rowan befor he passed out said, "if you two are going to hump please not in front of me" so we looked at each other and smiled and agreed balcony.
Rowan passed out right away and Phil said, "here's something most Waste fans don't get to see" and took off his bandanna, it was the best.
We got comfy in a make shift bed on the floor and talked and smooched and things got hot. So we took it to the balcony. It was awesome. We came back inside and went in our bed, and kept smooching and talking.
Phil- I want you to be my girl. I've been in a long distance relationship befor and I am loyal, I want to get to the point where you come stay with me in Richmond and don't have to work... I want to take care of you and bring you with me on tour
Val- Okay!
So we got frisky again. Honestly I've never felt a connection with someone like I did with him the first night I spent with them. He was so vocal and touchy and gah.... basicaly I can't stop thinking about it. He called me baby the whole time and his accent holy shit my heart melted everytime he said it.
So we exchanged numbers and everything and promised to keep in touch. He fell asleep and I went out to the pool to drink some more with Nat and jamieson and other friends. In the morning he woke me up with cuddles and asked if I could take him back to the house they were staying at in a bit. So we kept cuddling and at like 7am we were on our way. In the car he apologised for not being too chatty, he just gets really hung over. then he put his hand on my leg the whole way there. When I dropped him off we had a nice smooch and hug and he said he really hopes i keep in touch.
So we left at about noon and being in the US, my phone blew up from roaming and i didn't get it back till today. Yesterday afternoon he called myhouse cause he hadn't heard from me. I made a joke about going to live with him and he said he really wants to get to know me and then we'll talk about moving haha. so it was a nice talk and i don't feel like a random tour bimbo. and he's so dreamy.
I texted him today but he played last night = wasted = hung over. When we talked yesterday he said befor he goes to the UK for a few weeks he'll be at home for a week and we can talk everyday.
DREAMY
so that's how Phil happened
and now i have to get ready for work.
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| once twice three times a lady |
[15 Oct 2008|01:41pm] |
ive got a crush
and i dont know what to do about it
i think ill do next to nothing
i build things up in my mind way too soon
i need a smoke. big time
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| gush gush gush |
[09 Oct 2008|02:48pm] |
i love expecting to be let down
and then not
and then having a really good time
feeling content
cared for
important
you don't even realised you've changed for the better
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| galang |
[02 Oct 2008|12:37pm] |
i saw a squirel a few moments ago.
it looked like it was going to try and leap from the fence to the roof of the "living room" we have in the back yard.
I said, "i don't think you're going to make it squirel"
then he scampered along the fence and took off into the rain.
It's been a long time since I've seen a squirel, I'm glad I gave him some advice.
This rain is making me feel like I should be bummed.
I think the medication I'm on inhibits me from sadness, sadness becomes just feeling nothing.
But I can recal befor I was medicated I felt nothing all the time
nothing or dispair. Dispair is an intense feeling to have.
I got sad on saturday night for the first time in ages.
Alcohol mixed with my medication makes the depressing effects of alcohol more apparent
So maybe had I not been drunk, I wouldn't have gotten so sad.
After a magical feeling I said, "you need to not kiss me like that."
then I cried and asked questions I knew the answers to
it's hard to be in love when you know niether of you are in any condition to make it work
at least I keep telling myself that it can't work yet
he doesn't want it because he's scared
and I'm justifying being okay with what we currently have.
he told me he misses me all the time, and gets bummed.
I miss him alot. I miss him when he's around, I just want to grab hold and not let go
I wanna go away somewhere new and exciting
I want it to be with him
I want for us to be able to be the way we feel without feeling like we're letting our past decisions down
Where no one knows my name.
it's been two months and he's still on my mind all the time
I still see him alot and I know how we feel about each other
it's hard
all i feel is love for him
i'll always love him
forever
and now i'm crying because it's probably not enough.
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[02 Sep 2008|11:28am] |
so things have been going okay
but the random short conversations this weekend are really making me feel terrible
jesus
why does life have to be so hard.
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| nobody knows |
[24 Aug 2008|08:13pm] |
things have been changing alot lately.
Danny and I are no longer together.
It was fairly mutual but i'm still utterly heartbroken about it.
most times i'm fine then out of no where i can't stand the hurt.
Right now is a time where it hurts.
I've been doing my best to keep myself busy as not to sit alone and feel low
Last weekend I went to Nat's in Toronto.
This weekend I did alot of drinking.
Next weekend I'm driving Lisa to school in Ottawa
I'm really looking forward to this.
Her being here this summer has ment so much to me
I'm sad to see her go again.
today is not a great day.
i get by with a little help from my friends
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